Hello, my friends, in this episode, we're going to explore how to heal from childhood abuse and trauma. I want to discuss the importance of not just physical and emotional healing but the deeper, spiritual freedom necessary for breaking free from the chains of the past.
If you are seeking inner peace, discovering your true purpose, and reconnecting with the universe, then it’s essential to understand that true healing requires more than just traditional therapy. It requires a spiritual journey.
The Hidden Reality of Childhood Abuse
I recently came across a statistic from the World Health Organization that truly shocked me: 1 billion children between the ages of 7 and 12 were abused last year—whether through physical, sexual, or emotional means. This number is staggering, and it’s not confined to any one part of the world. While many might think this only happens in certain countries, abuse occurs everywhere—often hidden behind closed doors, even in the most developed nations.
Childhood trauma is not just "over there"; it’s in our communities, in our schools, and in our own homes. It’s often hidden and unseen because it happens behind closed doors, masked by a façade of normalcy. But those who are seeking answers, who feel drawn to this conversation, know that this issue is everywhere. Dysfunction, toxicity, and trauma cross generational boundaries and don’t discriminate based on location or socioeconomic status.
The Different Kinds of Abuse and Their Consequences
Let’s touch on the various types of abuse and their impacts. While I’m not a psychologist or counselor, I know that the effects are profound and complex. Abuse can be:
Physical Abuse: Any act that causes physical harm or injury to the body.
Sexual Abuse: This spectrum ranges from direct physical contact to inappropriate comments or gestures. It’s important to note that sexual abuse isn’t just limited to acts of penetration; it includes the energy and implications of inappropriate attention.
Emotional Abuse: Often overlooked, emotional abuse can be more damaging because it leaves no visible marks. Neglect, gaslighting, and dismissive behavior can be more subtle yet deeply damaging. It can involve being bullied, belittled, or made to feel unworthy. The deep impact of emotional abuse often goes unrecognized because it's hidden. But over time, it builds into layers of trauma that affect one’s sense of self.
Breaking the Cycle of Trauma
One significant part of healing is reconnecting with the pain. For years, I found it difficult to speak about my past because I was dissociated from it. When I did talk about my experiences, it felt like I was speaking about someone else’s life. This dissociation is a defense mechanism, a way for the mind to protect itself from overwhelming pain. But over time, as I embarked on a serious healing journey, old memories and suppressed emotions resurfaced.
This is an essential step: reconnecting with the pain so it can be processed. Otherwise, the trauma remains buried in the subconscious, influencing behaviors and life choices without us realizing it. When you reach a point where you want to break free, you’ll find that the subconscious beliefs and emotional patterns you’ve carried will hold you back until you face them.
The Importance of Spiritual Freedom
In my opinion, true healing requires spiritual freedom. When we talk about breaking free from trauma, we need to go beyond just coping strategies or therapies. We need to reconnect with our inner selves, rediscover our sense of worth, and address the toxic beliefs we hold subconsciously.
A significant challenge is dealing with shame—that feeling that something is inherently wrong with you, that you're not good enough. For many years, I didn’t even recognize this as shame. I thought I was just "not good enough" for myself, for my other people, for the world. And that belief, that core belief, shapes your experiences and reactions. It can lead to repeating abusive patterns, like being drawn into relationships that confirm these beliefs.
Coping Mechanisms and Self-Sabotage
Substance abuse is one common coping mechanism for those who have endured trauma. I started drinking at 13, heavily by 15 or 16. It was a way to escape the pain, but it only deepened the issues. Whether it’s drinking, overachieving, or seeking validation through relationships, these are all strategies to numb the pain. But as you may know, these strategies don’t lead to freedom or peace; they lead to temporary relief followed by deeper struggles.
I also noticed that, no matter where I went—whether on a world trip or starting a new chapter away from home—the pain was still there. It forced me to confront it. The universe has a way of nudging us toward healing; life challenges us to release trapped emotions and trauma, to find a way to live authentically.
Finding Your Path to Healing
One of the most profound realizations I had was that no amount of external change can bring peace until you address the internal state. If you’re feeling trapped, disconnected from yourself, or constantly repeating toxic patterns, it’s time to ask: What is this trying to teach me? Embracing the pain, addressing your beliefs, and seeking spiritual freedom can transform your journey from one of survival to one of thriving.
Healing from childhood abuse isn’t just about surviving—it’s about living, truly living. It’s about reconnecting with yourself and finding your inner peace. It’s a path that requires courage, compassion, and the willingness to look within.
Feeling Trapped and the Inner Battle
And of course, when you're a child, you cannot leave the house. This is why it makes it so complicated because you cannot leave, even though you get abused and know it—you cannot go away because, of course, they have to feed you. Where are you supposed to go? When I was a child, I planned to escape so many times. I was packing my stuff, thinking, "I'm out of here. This is insane," but then I asked myself, where was I supposed to go? I made plans to move into a little farm about 20 minutes away, but then I thought, how would I sleep there? And what about all my school stuff? I made all these plans of escaping at a really young age, already. But of course, you realize you can't. For me, that was one of the biggest challenges—this feeling of being trapped and unable to escape, even though I knew it was toxic.
Abandoning Parts of Yourself to Survive
To deal with this, you have to abandon parts of yourself. You consciously understand, as a child, "I have to deal with these people. I have to somehow live in this family." You start doing the math: "Okay, I'm 10. I can move out when I'm 18. That's eight more years." You don't consciously think, "I'm going to push down my inner child." This happens subconsciously. You bury that part of you that wants to set boundaries, that knows something is wrong, and that says, "You shouldn't be treating me this way. You shouldn't make fun of me or hurt me." You have to stay, and that coping mechanism takes over. You become a people-pleaser, suppress emotions, and your brain learns to navigate the world in this way. But the anger and frustration of wanting boundaries and not being able to set them stay buried, and that’s what leads to the inner pressure and unresolved feelings many people face as adults. There’s this deep, unspoken knowing that something is wrong, but it's not you. The real issue lies in the conditioning and trauma responses, not in your true core.
The Healing Journey and Spiritual Awakening
There’s a big difference between being wrong and the environment being wrong. Think of it as a circle: in the middle is your divine spark, the light that is you. It’s the part of you that was born with a purpose because nature doesn’t make mistakes. Around that inner circle are your personality, trauma patterns, and coping mechanisms. Your task is to peel away these layers, even if it’s painful. When you reach that core, you feel the light get stronger, and you start to remember how it felt to be joyful and free as a child. That inner health and sense of being loved is so profound and beautiful that it makes everything worth it.
Understanding Depression and Anxiety
Of course, childhood abuse brings its own set of challenges, such as depression. You numb yourself and feel like you can’t cope with daily life. The suppression of emotions takes an immense amount of energy, and sometimes you don’t have the strength to get out of bed, brush your teeth, or face the day. Depression and anxiety can become overwhelming because you have learned to suppress and avoid feelings that may resurface, afraid to relive the pain. It’s not a disorder but a reaction—your system’s way of coping with an unhealthy environment. It's not that something is wrong with you; it’s that your coping mechanisms have developed in response to a toxic situation.
Spiritual Practices for Healing
In my experience, traditional therapy, while helpful in many ways, often isn’t enough for trauma from childhood abuse. Talk therapy doesn’t always address the deep layers of trauma and sometimes leaves you feeling misunderstood. In 2018-2019, when I began my spiritual awakening, I felt the strong need for change. I turned to meditation, despite not knowing much about it at the time. At first, it felt difficult and even boring, but after six years of different meditation practices, I can say it truly changed my life. Meditation’s biggest benefit is raising your awareness. It helps you observe your thoughts and feelings, catching them in the act and questioning them. This allows you to trace the source of your emotions and thought patterns, which can be subtle and go unnoticed in daily life.
Journaling and Self-Care
Journaling is another powerful tool. Writing things down helps bring thoughts and emotions into the open, making them tangible. I started journaling in 2019, and it changed everything for me. Writing down anger, sadness, and even joy helped me see patterns and trace my growth. Years later, revisiting old journal entries reminded me of how far I’d come, providing insight and comfort. Self-care is also vital. It’s about reconnecting with your inner self, understanding your needs, and learning to listen to them without judgment. It can be difficult to choose what truly nourishes you over what your ego wants, but it’s essential for healing. Practicing this builds self-trust and allows you to nurture your well-being.
The Power of Forgiveness and Community
Forgiveness is a journey, not a one-time event. It comes in layers and is essential for breaking free from the past. I’ll go into more detail about forgiveness in another post, but I will say it’s a powerful practice that supports healing. Sharing experiences and connecting with others who are on a similar path can also be invaluable. Healing is complex and takes time, but it’s possible. Even if it feels overwhelming, being honest with yourself and embracing vulnerability is part of the journey. The answers will come as you move forward.
I hope this post has inspired you to take that first step toward healing. If you’d like to share your story or ask questions, please comment below. I’d love to read your thoughts and help support you on your journey.
Thank you for reading and I wish you a wonderful day.
Franziska
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